XXI.

There once was a doctor named Tiller
Of fetuses viewed as a killer
He was killed in his church
By a Churchy McChurch
Churchy Church McPro-Life Churchy Church.
(Fuck you, extremists.)

XX.

There once was pandemic real big
'Twas endemic to soul of a pig
So the oinkers made stores
Of drugs just like crackwhores
And just likewise would not give a frig.

XIX.

GM was a maker of cars
That made business decisions in bars
A time machine was needed
To make Beetle threats heeded
Fifty years pissed away gaped at stars.

XVIII.

There once was a land named Vermont
Where a gov'nors reserve couldn't taunt
So in New England's trend
Legislators would bend
To make equal as voters would want.

XVII.

North Korea expanded its docket
To develop a space-scraping rocket
But the U.S. was scared
That another had dared
To have their own hand in the pocket.

XVI.

There once was a place named Iow-a
Where the judges weren't fearful to show-a
So they'd marry their queers
And flip off heartland jeers
Proving at least one folk that will grow-a.

XV.

The twenty best gathered to hug
And Michelle took a piss on the rug
And the one thing I learned
Is that victory is earned
When the world fights in holes Yankees dug.

XIV.

There once was a nut named Jong-il
Whose insanity knew not its fill
So he spent won to poke
None on food to feed folk
And the world's whiny teardrops would spill.

XIII.

A lady named Nadya was once
A single mom, had lots of runts
So the world kissed her zero
For she was such a hero
Exploiting publicity shunts.

XII.

In a land called Arabia Saudi
No American ever got rowdy
'Twas the most ideal place
To hide bin Laden's face
On a camera to shout out, "Hey, howdy!"

XI.

The car makers wanted cash
To avoid a market crash
But their wasting in game
Was exactly the same
Delaying the inevitable slash.

X.

Obama shut down the Guan'o
Which was a good thing, don't ya know
So we swallowed what came
As Barack played the game
One week down, four years to go.

IX.

Obama benefited from hype
Oh, but really, he wasn't the type! (Right?)
So before he laid a brick
We would suck on his dick
And we'd lick our lips rather than wipe!

Eight Years Closer to the End of the World

like skipping this round rock across a still pond
what'll it do? i dunno
but greased up good and bathed in black
it's better off now, no doubt
it's better off now

we're eight years closer to the end of the world
facing the final and shooting our ways
what mysteries are there to yet be unfurled?
well, hell, it won't matter at the end of our days

like watching a train wreck occur in slo mo
how'll it look? i can't tell
but lathered, rinsed, repeated again
we're better off now, for sure
we're better off now

we're eight years closer to the end of the world
watching it coming it makes its last push
like dumb bombs in terror our futures were hurled
by the almighty hands of George W. Bush